Reflections of the Past Year Oct.1, 2017-2018

I am wanting to put some pictures/ quotes here of different things that happened this year while telling learning experiences I have had through this difficult year because this day marks 1 year since the more severe symptoms started.  Constant pain is still my companion and I am still not well and still unsure all that needs done yet to improve my health but I wanted to take time to reflect on what I learned and the experiences I have had this year all the while praising God for the path that He has me on. So please join me on this journey….

This photo was taken on October 1st, 2017. We took a walk out into this field of flowers and took pictures. I had woken up with a headache and it never really went away. This was the precursor to where I am now.

Natasha and I graduated from LPN school in December. I thank God that I was able to finish school. It was a struggle towards the end. The whole month of December we also were preparing for two church programs along with traveling with bells. It was a busy month.

After a nursing home service bell program. Our cousins were here for our graduation and joined us before heading out to Michigan. That was the highlight of December to have them come!

In January, my brother and cousins went down to help Aaron Griggs with pouring a foundation for his house. Pearl and I really wanted to go but I wasn’t able.

In April, we joined Lyrica Sacra again. We love singing in the choir. I almost gave up on it  but I decided to just switch from full choir to extended choir. I am glad I participated in it even though it was a struggle. I love singing especially in a big choir like that.

Shortly after that we heard about this clinic in Mexico. We had heard of a man who was helped there with Lymes. We didn’t know what I was dealing with. After Lyrica Sacra I got weaker and had more pain. That’s when I basically was in bed most of the day. So after much prayer and thought we decided to go down and see what they could help us with. They diagnosed me with brucellocis, lymes, high salmonella, and sinus issues. They prescribed a round of 6 weeks of antibiotics for me.

Before I left I wanted pictures of my sister and “sisters”. We had gotten this material in Guatemala and sewn these jumpers.

Candace, me and my friend Amanda from our church.

While we were still in Mexico Little Kari Rose was born. We are very proud of our niece and granddaughter.

In May, my sister Pearl graduated with her three cousins, Susanna, Andrea and Bethany. Kari even matched them! I was about half way through my antibiotics. I had felt very little difference being on them but about this time I started downhill again. After I finished the antibiotic we contacted the doctor again and he decided to give me a stronger dose of antibiotics for 20 more days. So far nothing has really helped to the point of  real notice.

In July, my brother and cousins took a 6 week trip to Africa to help distribute Bibles in Zambia with Uncle Piet and Aunt Hester Marias. They had bought their tickets back in January. But I had told them not to get me one just in case I couldn’t make it. Over the next few months I had to come to grips with the fact that I probably wouldn’t be able to make the trip and in May finally made the difficult decision to not go along. This had been something I was longing to do for several years. We had made  2 trips before and I absolutely loved it. But I physically wasn’t able to go and God helped me learn to trust Him more through this. It was His will that I don’t go and it took a struggle before I truly was able to let go of my hope, dreams and wishes and trust His will.

Now I want to write about what I have learned/ and am learning through this hard year into the next. There have been times of depression, discouragement, frustration, impatience, tears, feeling useless and worry. Most of those things on a daily basis but I am learning to cast my burdens on God. And He has been very very faithful to me.  I have found many quotes and Bible verses that have help me along the way…. and I am going to share several with you before I close.

Here are some of the things I have learned/am learning.

Patience

Matured Sympathy for Others- I can understand now to a degree of what other people go through and it has increased my sympathy and I try to show that to others as much as I can.

A deeper relationship with God, including learning to trust and being more faithful in praying for others.

Opportunity to observe and listen.

Deeper relationship with my sister and family (including cousins and friends)

Gripping the fact that I can’t go on with starting midwifery or RN yet, but trying to do a bit of reading to help keep my mind up-to-date with some things.:)

Here is where I spend a lot of my day. My little Frosty has been a faithful comforter. She loves to sleep right beside me even at night (usually right by my feet or head). She seems to understand the pain or discouragement. Pearl brings me kitty once in a while to enjoy. I am working on  exercises and stretches as much as possible. My horse is not right here anymore so that helps get me out in the air a bit. Also using strong comfrey tea, essiac tea and pain medicine from the doctor. I still am having extreme pain, fever and blackouts. I do have a couple hours of the day that aren’t as bad so I am thankful for that. I am not sure yet what exactly that the regiment I am on will be the right help yet. But I am trying to be patient with the path God has for me right now.  I can talk with my doctors anytime so I still have that communication.

God has me on this way for a purpose. I can’t see it right now but I am trying to rest and trust in Him. It is very hard at times to keep from getting discouraged while waiting. I was reminded by a cousin that God knows us perfectly because He made us and knows us inside and out and that put it in a different perspective.  I am finding ways to help others even here on this couch. I praise God that I can still write, encourage, talk, and make these blog posts. I really enjoy it. It helps fulfill my longing to be useful.

Thank you to all of you that pray and are praying for me. I can’t express my gratitude and appreciation enough for that. Thanks for all the encouragements and love that I have felt from you all. Thanks for sticking on this journey with me and you can follow this blog or if you want more updates specifically about me please let me know and I will put your email address or phone number on my list. For the most part this blog is for documenting our lives and then my life eventually when I get on with what God has called me to do.